Divorce & Couples Issues
Nobody goes into a marriage without the expectation that it will last forever, and when couples have difficulties, they usually make attempts to resolve them. This may involve counselling, trial separations and new patterns of behaviour. Unfortunately, in some cases, divorce is the only viable option.
Just as people coming together have to make adjustments to their lives, so do those who have made the decision to part company. Many factors have to be considered, including the following:
- Care and custody of the children. This includes visitation rights, child support payments and decisions regarding education, spirituality and extracurricular pursuits.
- Distribution of assets. The couple has to decide who, if anyone, will continue to live in the family home. Vehicles, furniture, financial resources and other assets have to be divided.
- Physical safety. If one spouse has been abusive to the other, or to the children, protective orders restricting access may be in place.
- Social life. Many couples have mutual friends, some of whom may take sides.
- Family pets. If there are pets in the home, the couple has to decide who will keep them.
While it is true that divorce often arises from the actions of one party, such as infidelity or abuse, in many cases it is simply a result of the couple no longer being compatible.
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The Benefits of Couples Counselling
Couples counselling provides a neutral space for couples to discuss their problems and work towards resolving them. It can help to improve communication, build trust, and strengthen the bond between partners. By identifying the root causes of conflicts and learning effective communication techniques, couples can learn to better understand and support each other.
Signs You Might Benefit from Couples Counselling
Divorce counselling isn’t for everyone, but there are signs that it might be beneficial for you. Here are some signs to look out for:
1. You’re Struggling to Cope with Emotions
Divorce is an emotional roller-coaster, and it’s normal to experience a range of emotions. However, if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and struggling to cope with your emotions, divorce counselling may be helpful. A therapist can help you process your emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
2. You’re Struggling to Communicate with Your Ex-Partner
Effective communication is essential during a divorce, but it’s not always easy. If you find yourself struggling to communicate with your ex-partner or if communication always leads to conflict, divorce counselling may be helpful. A therapist can help you improve your communication skills and set boundaries.
3. You’re Struggling to Move On
Divorce can be a significant life change, and it’s not always easy to move on. If you find yourself struggling to let go of your past relationship or if you’re stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings, divorce counselling may be helpful. A therapist can help you develop a new perspective and move forward in a positive direction.
4. You’re Feeling Isolated and Alone
Divorce can be a lonely experience, and it’s easy to feel isolated and alone. If you’re struggling to connect with others or if you feel like no one understands what you’re going through, divorce counselling may be helpful. A therapist can provide a safe and supportive environment for you to share your feelings and connect with others who are going through a similar experience.
5. You’re Struggling to Parent Effectively
Divorce can have a significant impact on children, and it’s not always easy to parent effectively during this time. If you find yourself struggling to co-parent with your ex-partner or if you’re concerned about the impact of the divorce on your children, divorce counselling may be helpful. A therapist can provide guidance on effective co-parenting and help you navigate the challenges of parenting during a divorce.
What to Expect From Couples Counselling
The first step in couples counselling is to find a qualified therapist who can provide guidance and support. At Innersight Psychotherapy, during the initial consultation, your therapist will gather information about your relationship history, current issues, and goals for counselling. They will then create a customized treatment plan to address these specific needs.
In couples counselling sessions, the therapist will work with both partners to identify negative patterns of behaviour and communication. The therapist will then provide guidance and support in developing more positive and effective ways of communicating with each other. Couples may also be given homework assignments to practice these new skills in their daily lives.
How Couples Counselling Can Help Navigate Divorce
Divorce can be a complicated and emotionally challenging process. Couples counselling can provide a safe and supportive environment for couples to explore their feelings and work through the challenges that arise during this time.
Couples counselling can help couples navigate issues related to co-parenting, financial arrangements, and the emotional impact of divorce. By working with a therapist, couples can learn to communicate effectively and make decisions that are in the best interest of their family.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can couples counselling save my marriage?
While there are no guarantees, couples counselling can be very effective in helping couples work through their problems and save their marriage. By providing a neutral and supportive environment, couples can develop new skills and strategies to improve their relationship.
How long does couples counselling typically last?
The length of couples counselling can vary depending on the specific needs of the couple. Some couples may only need a few sessions, while others may require ongoing support for several months or even years.
Can couples counselling help with co-parenting after divorce?
Yes, couples counselling can be helpful in navigating co-parenting arrangements after divorce. By providing guidance and support, couples can learn to communicate effectively and work together to make decisions that are in the best interest of their children.
What if my partner is not willing to participate in couples counselling?
If your partner is not willing to participate in couples counselling, it may still be helpful for you to attend sessions on your own. By working with a therapist, you can develop new skills and strategies to improve your relationship and manage the challenges of divorce.
How Our Psychotherapists in Vaughan Can Help You
InnerSight Psychotherapy can help divorcing couples proceed in a way that is beneficial to their emotional well being and that of their children. At a time when many tough decisions have to be made, we can help you work through your feelings of anger, guilt, sadness or disappointment.
We also understand that special considerations have to be made for the children of couples who are divorcing. They are likely to feel varying combinations of sadness, anger, confusion and fear for the future that need to be addressed in a way that allows them to move forward. How children are affected depends on a variety of factors, including their ages, the circumstances surrounding the divorce, the presence of any special needs or medical issues, the nature of sibling relationships, and much more.
At InnerSight Psychotherapy, we can help you work through divorce issues in a caring, compassionate manner that benefits your whole family.