Pregnancy and infant loss are profoundly heartbreaking experiences. They are two of the most difficult and isolating journeys anyone can ever walk through. Whether its miscarriage, stillbirth, or death of an infant, the emotional impact is immeasurable. But therapy can provide a path to healing that doesn’t have to be faced alone. Therapy can provide a space for healing through support. In this blog post, we will explore the importance of therapy for pregnancy and infant loss, how it aids healing, and some different therapeutic approaches that can help grieving parents heal.
While every parent’s experience is unique, parents often face similar challenges. Such as isolation, the loss of an imagined future, as well as experiences with guilt and self-blame. In regard to isolation, it is a phenomenon many grieving parents experience as society tends to avoid conversations around pregnancy and infant loss, leaving parents feeling as though their grief and loss are not acknowledged (Bellhouse et al., 2018). Further, that people often fail to recognize the depth of the loss (Weir, 2018). And this feeling of isolation is often further intensified by the perceived societal pressure for parents to “move on” quickly. To complicate the healing process further, parents are not only mourning the loss of their child, but the future they had envisioned with their child (Adderley, 2023). All while potentially dealing with feelings of guilt and self-blame as well. Parents often question what they could have done differently to prevent the loss, even if they know that the loss was not their fault. Nonetheless, the emotional weight of guilt can feel suffocating. Therefore, grief and healing in pregnancy and infant loss is complex and experienced in stages. Importantly, healing is not linear, and emotions will fluctuate (Adderley, 2023). You may cycle through feelings of shock, disbelief, guilt, anger, self-blame, sadness, and moments of acceptance.
Therapy can provide parents with a path toward healing. By providing parents with a space for them to grieve openly without judgement and process their emotions, to promote understanding and self-compassion, find ways to move forward while honouring their child’s memory, and guidance for navigating the complex emotions and experiences that arise (Adderley, 2023). More specifically:
- Therapy can promote healing by the therapist bearing witness and validating a parent’s emotions and feelings (Adderley, 2023). Because it is important to recognize that feelings of grief are natural and necessary responses to loss.
- Whether individual or couples therapy, a therapist might also aid parents in rebuilding strained relationships. Rebuilding relationships is especially prevalent in couple’s therapy because loss can impact every couple/family differently. Parents may grieve individually and together in different ways, which can make it challenging to support each other effectively, and might lead to misunderstanding or conflict (Adderley, 2023; Baggett, 2023). Which can add additional challenges to an already complex process and place an immense amount of strain on the relationship (Baggett, 2023).
- Therapists often help clients by developing effective coping strategies tailored to their unique needs and circumstances. Such as engaging in self-care, mindfulness, journalling, pursuing hobbies, boundary setting, and finding way to honour and remember your child in a meaningful and positive manner (Adderley, 2023).
- Therapists may use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and the intervention of cognitive restructuring (CR) to help individuals challenge unhelpful thoughts of guilt and self-blame, to replace them with healthier, more realistic and more compassionate thoughts. Other CBT interventions that might be used include mindfulness and behavioural activation.
While therapy can be sought out at any time during your healing process, therapy is especially recommended if you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety or depression, your grief is interfering with your ability to engage in everyday life, you are feeling hopeless, or if there are thoughts of self-harm.
Pregnancy and infant loss are two of the most difficult and isolating journeys anyone can ever walk through, but the path to healing doesn’t have to be faced alone. Hanna Anderson, a member of InnerSight Psychotherapy, is available and ready to support you in this journey. She is available both in-person (Maple location) and online, for both individuals and couples at a reduced rate.
References
Adderley, L. (2023). 9 ways therapy can support experiences of pregnancy & infant loss. Counselling Directory. https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/9-ways-therapy-can-support-experiences-of-pregnancy-infant-loss
Baggett, E. (2023). Navigating Grief After Pregnancy or Infant Loss: Healing Together. Third Wave Psychotherapy. https://www.3rdwavetherapy.com/navigating-grief-after-pregnancy-or-infant-loss-healing-together/
Bellhouse, C., Temple-Smith, M. J., & Bilardi, J. E. (2018). “It’s just one of those things people don’t seem to talk about…” women’s experiences of social support following miscarriage: A qualitative study. BMC Women’s Health, 18(1), 176. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12905-018-0672-3
Weir, K. (2018). Healing the wounds of pregnancy loss. American Psychological Association, 49(5). https://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/05/pregnancy-loss
