Narcissistic abuse recovery therapy in Vaughan
You reread old messages to check whether you remembered the conversation correctly. Somewhere inside a relationship that involved monitoring, steady criticism and being told your memory was wrong, your own account of events stopped feeling like enough on its own. Narcissistic abuse recovery therapy in Vaughan begins with that account and with what the behaviour did to you.
No referral needed · in-person or online · with Registered Psychotherapists.

Psychotherapists
supervision
not their label
20 minutes
Clinically reviewed by Svetlana Antonyshyn, Registered Psychotherapist (CRPO #001652). Last reviewed August 2026.
What does narcissistic abuse recovery therapy in Vaughan actually work on?
Narcissistic abuse recovery therapy is individual counselling for people recovering from a pattern of controlling or emotionally abusive behaviour in a relationship. A Registered Psychotherapist cannot diagnose anyone, least of all someone who is not the client, so the work stays with observable behaviour and its effects on you.
Most of the relationships described in these sessions did not announce themselves at the start. What people describe is a pattern that thickened over months or years: phone checks and location checks, a slow thinning out of friendships, decisions made on their behalf, arguments that ended with them apologising for something they were not sure they had done. Some of it was affection, and the affection was real. That is a large part of why it is so difficult to explain to anyone afterwards.
A Registered Psychotherapist cannot diagnose anyone. That includes your former partner, who has never been assessed, was never in the room and is not the client here. So no clinician at InnerSight will tell you whether the person you left has narcissistic personality disorder, and any clinician who offers to decide that from your account alone is claiming knowledge they do not have. The phrase is what brings people to this page, and it deserves a straight answer rather than a marketing one.
The work does not need the label. It proceeds from behaviour you witnessed and can describe: being tracked, being kept away from your own people, having your income or spending controlled, being told your memory of a conversation was wrong often enough that you stopped trusting it. Those behaviours leave effects that can be observed and measured, and the effects are what sessions address.
Safety sits ahead of all of it. If you are being threatened or followed, or you are frightened of what happens when you walk back through the door, the Assaulted Women's Helpline takes calls from anywhere in Ontario at any hour on 1-866-863-0511 and can work through safety planning in a way that a weekly therapy appointment cannot.
Which InnerSight therapists take this work?
Three Registered Psychotherapists at InnerSight work with clients recovering from controlling and emotionally abusive relationships. Valeria Matei (CRPO 14052) and Sabrina Giralico (CRPO 15356) are both trained in EMDR, and Sabrina works with 2SLGBTQIA+ clients, where controlling behaviour often runs alongside threats of being outed or cut off from community. Svetlana Antonyshyn (CRPO 001652) founded the clinic and has worked with these situations for years.
All three see clients in person in Vaughan and Woodbridge and online across Ontario, and you can meet any of them in a free 20 minute consultation before committing to a session.

Valeria Matei

Sabrina Giralico

Svetlana Antonyshyn
The sentences that keep survivors stuck
These are the four things people say most often in a first session about a controlling relationship. Each one is worth taking seriously rather than arguing with, because each one usually has a mechanism behind it.
You were told you overreacted so often that you now open disagreements with an apology, and you assume any strong feeling you have is a distortion.
Being told you are too sensitive is one of the behaviours Statistics Canada counts as psychological abuse, alongside being told you are crazy, stupid or not good enough, which 27 percent of women who experienced intimate partner violence reported. A reaction that looks disproportionate to one incident is usually well calibrated to a pattern of many. Sessions start by mapping the pattern, because the size of the reaction makes sense once the whole sequence is visible.
How common this is in Canada
What this work helps you rebuild
A message to a friend takes twenty minutes because you are auditing every sentence for something that could be turned against you. The person who used to do that turning is gone, and the habit is not.
You were told you were remembering it wrong so many times that you now check with a sibling or a friend before you trust your account of anything. Sessions work on rebuilding that internal reference point rather than relitigating who was right.
What to eat, what to wear, whether to accept an invitation for Saturday. Choosing used to trigger a reaction, so you outsourced it, and the muscle has not been used in years.
You stopped answering messages because the questions afterward were not worth it, and now there is a two-year gap you feel embarrassed to explain. Reconnecting is often slower and more awkward than people expect, and it is worth planning rather than improvising.
You go back through a conversation from four years ago trying to find the sentence where you caused it. Self-blame is one of the most reliable effects of being told repeatedly that you are the problem, and it usually has to be worked with directly rather than argued away.
The good stretches were real, and missing them feels like evidence that it was never abuse. Both things can be accurate at once, and holding that without collapsing into one side is a large part of the work.
Every handover, email or bank statement costs you a day you did not budget for. Sessions here focus on what you can control in those exchanges, including what you reply to and what you do not.
A raised voice in a store, a particular ringtone, headlights in the driveway at the wrong hour. Trauma-informed work, including EMDR where it fits, is aimed at these responses rather than at persuading you they are unreasonable.
Is emotional abuse without violence actually damaging?
Yes, and it is the most common form of intimate partner violence in Canada. The harm is well documented and strongly evidenced. What therapy can do about it afterwards is more modestly evidenced, and we would rather tell you that than promise more than the research supports.
studies pooled. Psychological abuse by a partner was strongly linked to post-traumatic stress symptoms in women, and of every form measured, coercive control had the strongest link of all.
of women and 35 percent of men who have been in an intimate relationship have experienced psychological abuse from a partner since age 15. It is the most common form of intimate partner violence in Canada.
Statistics Canada, Juristat: Intimate partner violence in Canada, 2018, 2021
of Canadian women reporting non-physical intimate partner violence in the past year rated their mental health fair or poor, against 9.5 percent of women reporting none. The association held even where no physical or sexual violence occurred.
women across 33 trials. Psychological therapy probably reduces depression after intimate partner violence.
Evidence on post-traumatic stress was low certainty and showed no clear difference between groups.
Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews (Hameed, O'Doherty, Gilchrist et al.), CD013017, 2020
trials of psychosocial support for survivors, pooled in 2024. Reductions in depression and post-traumatic stress symptoms were modest.
Those gains were not maintained at longer follow-up.
Micklitz, Glass, Bengel & Sander, Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 2024
What does narcissistic abuse recovery therapy in Vaughan look like session to session?
A free 20 minute consultation comes first, so you can ask about fit before paying for anything. The first full adult appointment is a 70 minute assessment at $245, and ongoing sessions run 55 minutes at $180. This is individual work throughout. It is not couples counselling, and it is not conducted with your former or current partner in the room.
Therapy works on your recovery, not on the other person and not on the situation you are still tied to.
Putting the pattern in order
Early sessions are largely you talking and your therapist writing things down. People often arrive with fragments: a specific argument, a rule that appeared one day about who they could see, a period where their phone battery mattered more than it should have. Laying those out in sequence tends to do something on its own, because a pattern is visible from a distance in a way that a single incident never is. Nobody is cross-examined here and nothing has to be proven to anyone.
Working on what it left behind
Second-guessing, scanning a room for someone's mood before speaking, an apology that arrives before you have finished the sentence. These are the effects that keep going after contact stops. Depending on how the memories sit, the work may stay in talking or may move into trauma-focused methods. If post-traumatic symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares or persistent hypervigilance are the main thing you want addressed, PTSD therapy covers that ground directly.
Deciding what you want from here
For some people this stage is about contact rules and what to do with the messages that still arrive. For others it is about dating again, or about explaining a two year gap to a family that never saw any of it. If a marriage or common law relationship is formally ending alongside the emotional work, separation and divorce therapy handles the practical and grief side of that separately.
How does therapy help you recover from coercive control?
Coercive control describes a pattern rather than an event: monitoring, isolation from friends and family, control over money, rules that shift so that they can never quite be met. Naming each of those specifically matters more than it sounds, because vague language is what allowed the behaviour to be argued away at the time. In the 2022 meta-analysis of psychological abuse, coercive control was the subtype most strongly associated with post-traumatic stress symptoms.
Being told repeatedly that you remembered something incorrectly does measurable damage to how much weight you give your own perception. Sessions work on restoring that, usually by testing your read against evidence you already hold rather than by reassurance. This is framed here as an injury from a particular relationship. If low self-worth has been a constant since long before this person, self-esteem therapy is the better fit.
Some sessions stay in conversation. Where specific memories intrude, will not settle, or bring physical reactions with them, two of the three therapists on this page are trained in EMDR and may suggest it. That is a decision made together and never on a first appointment. The method itself, what a session involves and who it suits is set out on our EMDR therapy page.
Therapy works on your recovery. It does not work on the other person, and it does not work on a situation you are still tied to. The Cochrane review of 33 trials rated the evidence that psychological therapy reduces post-traumatic stress symptoms after intimate partner violence as low certainty, and a 2024 review of 40 trials found the improvements it did measure were modest and had faded by longer follow-up. That matters most where contact has not ended. If you are co-parenting, sharing a lease, or still answering messages from someone using the same tactics, sessions can help you recognize what is happening and hold your position, and they will not stop it happening. A lawyer, a shelter worker or a financial adviser is doing work a Registered Psychotherapist cannot do, and for some people that work has to come first.
What therapy costs in Vaughan
No hidden fees. Most private insurance plans cover a portion of psychotherapy fees.
Twenty minutes by phone or video. Tell us what is going on, ask anything, and see if it feels right. No obligation.
Your first appointment is a 70-minute assessment at $245. Most private insurance plans cover a portion.
Available if you later want to bring a partner or family member into the work.
Reduced-fee sessions from $125 are available with select supervised therapists in training through our affordable therapy program.
Your questions, answered
Can a therapist tell me whether my ex has narcissistic personality disorder?
No, and you should be cautious of anyone who says otherwise. Registered Psychotherapists in Ontario do not diagnose at all, and even clinicians whose scope includes diagnosis cannot assess a person who has never been in the room, has not consented and is not their client. What your therapist can do is work with the behaviour you observed and can describe, and with the effects it had on your sleep, your confidence and your relationships. Recovery does not wait on a label that nobody is in a position to apply.
Is it still abuse if my partner never hit me?
Statistics Canada found psychological abuse to be the most commonly reported form of intimate partner violence in the country, reported by 43 percent of women and 35 percent of men who had ever had a partner. A 2025 analysis of the same national survey found that among women reporting non-physical intimate partner violence in the past year, 25.7 percent rated their mental health as fair or poor compared with 9.5 percent of women reporting none, and the association held where no physical or sexual violence had occurred. The absence of physical violence does not make the harm theoretical.
What is the difference between a controlling partner and coercive control?
Most couples have arguments about time, money and other people. Coercive control describes something structural: a sustained pattern of monitoring, isolation, financial restriction and rules that keep changing, whose combined effect is that your freedom of movement and decision shrinks. The distinguishing features are repetition, the way the tactics work together, and the sense of walking carefully in your own home. In the 2022 meta-analysis of psychological abuse and trauma symptoms, coercive control showed the strongest association of any subtype examined with post-traumatic stress in women.
Should we come to couples counselling if my partner is controlling?
For this specific situation, no. Couples work depends on both people being able to speak openly, and that assumption fails where one person expects consequences at home for what was said in the room. Disclosure in a joint session can raise risk rather than resolve anything. Where a controlling pattern is present, InnerSight would recommend individual sessions first, and your therapist would talk through safety and confidentiality before anything else. InnerSight does offer couples therapy, at $280 for an 85 minute session, for the many situations where joint work is appropriate.
How is this different from PTSD therapy at InnerSight?
Our PTSD page addresses post-traumatic symptoms from any origin, including collisions, assaults, medical events and front-line work, and it is the better starting point if flashbacks, nightmares or hypervigilance are the main thing you want help with. This page addresses one specific context: a relationship built on controlling or emotionally abusive behaviour, and what it left behind in how you read situations and trust yourself. Plenty of people need both, and the two often run together in the same course of sessions rather than in sequence.
Why do I still miss someone who treated me this way?
Because the relationship was not uniformly bad, and you know it was not. Warmth that arrives unpredictably tends to bind more strongly than warmth that is steady, and most people in these relationships can point to holidays, jokes and long stretches where things felt right. There is also the ordinary grief of losing a shared life, a home, a routine and sometimes a whole social circle at once. Missing someone is not evidence that your read of what happened was wrong, and it is not a step you failed to complete.
Can I start therapy while I am still in the relationship?
Yes, and many people do. Your therapist would want to talk about safety early, including practical details such as whether it is safe to have appointment reminders on a shared phone or session notes in the house. Be aware of the honest limit: therapy works on you, so where the behaviour is ongoing, progress often moves in one direction between incidents and back in the other after them. If you are in danger right now, safety planning through a crisis line or a shelter comes before scheduling a weekly appointment.
How long does it take to feel like myself again after an emotionally abusive relationship?
There is no honest number, and any clinic quoting one is guessing. What we can say is what the research shows. A 2024 review of 40 trials of psychosocial support for survivors of intimate partner violence found reductions in depression and post-traumatic stress symptoms that were modest and were not maintained at longer follow-up. In practice, the length of the relationship, whether contact has ended, and whether you have people around you all shift the picture considerably. Most people notice specific changes, such as second-guessing less often, before they would say they feel like themselves.
More on trauma from our therapists

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Understanding Trauma: How It Shows Up in the Body and Mind
Trauma is one of those words that's become both more common and more misunderstood at the same time. Some people hear "trauma"…
Read article →Where to see us in person, or meet online
Three offices across Vaughan and Barrie, plus secure video sessions anywhere in Ontario. Evenings and weekends available.
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Trust yourself again
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